Ruth Nicholas

Black Sheep in Disguise

The resistance inside...

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I have always felt like the black sheep.

Born to a Moroccan father, raised in a Caucasian family, insanely shy as a child, yet passionately loud when intervening family fights. I could never quite figure out who I was, or who I was meant to be.

But over time I've come to realize that to a certain extent, we are all . . .

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February 17, 2015

Defeat is just the Beginning

Stoking the internal fire

I hated history class as a kid!

Whenever possible I avoided watching period pieces like the plague. I couldn't relate. But as I've gotten older my outlook on history has changed, especially as it links to my fascination for time and moments. It gauges growth and change, and I respect it now as a valuable learning tool.

. . .

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Posted in: life muses

February 08, 2015

Butterfly Kiss Goodbye

The beauty in death

I had the strangest reaction to the final episode of 'The Big C'... a television show about a woman dying of cancer.

Besides being a teary eyed mess by the end of the episode, I woke up the next morning still crying!! The thought of her being gone. Leaving behind her teenage son. Her husband. Her brother. Family and loved . . .

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February 07, 2015

Self Sabotage

The day I crashed my own party!

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It fascinates me how one innocent moment in my life. A moment that should have been fun, carefree and joyous, can turn into such a pivotal moment of regret for the rest of my life.

It all started with a simple decision.

A choice that I made when I was maybe 8 or 9 years old, that has clung to my memory like a parasite . . .

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February 05, 2015

The Age Old Battle

We all live it. Breathe it. Endure it. But do we ever accept it?

AGE.

For me, it all started when I was 30. Until then it never crossed my mind. I think in some unrealistic, fantastical part of my brain I actually thought I was going to escape the process.

I was an anomaly. An exception to the rule. Aging didn't . . .

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Posted in: about me

February 03, 2015

Connecting the Dots

Searching for life's purpose

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At the time it seemed like such a ludicrous question.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I scrunched up my nose and frowned. How could I possibly know the answer to that question? I hadn't even finished High School.

I looked at my dad and shrugged my shoulders, replying indignantly.

. . .

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Posted in: about me

February 02, 2015

Sixties Baby

The strength of a mother

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I am someone that has always questioned life, my existence, and why I'm here.

Maybe it's because I never knew my biological father, that I was a 60's baby born out of wedlock and that my mother's decision to keep me was made final by the universe. That I withstood her anguish and desperate actions. But that I . . .

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February 02, 2015

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