I just want to let go.
Free my mind.
Take life by the horns again... I am a Taurus after all!
Let myself play and experiment.
Write because it makes me feel good. Allow my thoughts an escape, my words to be seen. Even if they make no sense to someone else. Even if they benefit only me.
I want to release myself from the shackles of perfection.
Gently unlock the padlock and nudge myself off the safety of this platform. Step down from my observatory and re-enter the stream of life.
Like a leaf softly falling from a tree, sailing into the unknown, swished from side to side,cradled by the air. There is nothing for me to fear.
Submit to the earth.
Step forth into my true essence, my being. Become one. No boundaries, no seperateness. I am but a vibrating mass of particles connected to all that surrounds me. My heart beat, my engine, propelling me forward.
Submit to my heart beat, let it lead the way. Let it be my light. My lantern.
Let my mind sit back in wonder, relax, and enjoy the ride. Collaborate, make suggestions, throw out ideas, contemplate, reflect, but remain in the passenger seat.
This life, no life, should be controlled.
When I feel myself feverishly thinking, worrying, trying to figure something out, just know that my mind is attempting to grab the steering wheel. Notice this. Smile lovingly inward, and breathe.
Listen once again for my heart beat.
Release and soften into the tension.
Unfurl my mind's fingers from the wheel, gently, kindly. Lift its foot off the accelerator and lay it to rest once again in the stillness of the passenger seat.
Remind myself there is nothing to do but "be".
My heart has got this.
*written March 4th, 2017 at 7:00am (day 7/solitary retreat)