Boy does it take work to live it, breathe it, and not be at war with it!
It's taken me much work to discover that everything I need, want, or could ever hope for is right under my nose.
Spent looking for that magical something that will make me happy.
Wishing for a tomorrow that never came.
Clinging onto hopes and illusive dreams, thinking that patience was all I needed.
So to have finally stopped searching, wishing, and clinging feels like nothing short of a miracle.
Today, as I sit here typing these words, in my jammies and Scooby-Doo top,
I am content.
Ha! Words that I once thought I'd never say.
I have a job that I actually enjoy.
A place to live that is not the in-laws.
And I am no longer broke!
A new and delightful feeling I must say.
The key, I have learned, is to accept the work. That nothing comes easy, or fast, and each step no matter how small, is a necessary building block.
My goals today are real and achievable, and rely on no one else swooping in to save the day.
But at the heart of it, I have discovered my breath.
My base essence.
The miracle of life itself.
I now take time to tune in. To see, smell, hear, and feel all that surrounds me.
Be awake to my senses, to this moment, because it's all I have. It's all I've ever had. It is where my happy is... in the ordinary of every day.
I walk to work and feel the wind on my face.
I look up at the sky and notice wisps of color, the clouds, birds as they swoop and land in the branches of trees.
I notice broken windows on the third floor of a downtown building, and imagine how cold it must be inside.
I hear Church bells chime 8 o'clock. I pick up my pace, now a few minutes late for work!
Commuters swiftly walk past me, heads down, bundled up, scarves, hats, gloves.
"Beep", the door opens.
Warm air envelops me as I enter the building. Ahhhhh. My skin feels relief.
Polite morning greetings chime one after the other...
I have a job.
I am alive and well.
And as far as I'm concerned, I am,
"Living The Dream"!