Today I want to start.
Yesterday I wanted to start too.
And the day before that I definitely wanted to start!
But sadly I did not.
But today I am determined.
Sitting at our kitchen table, window open, Spring trees a bloom, listening to the birds chirp loudly, with just 35 minutes before I have to walk back to work...
I . . .
Finding happy in the ordinary of every day...
Boy does it take work to live it, breathe it, and not be at war with it!
It's taken me much work to discover that everything I need, want, or could ever hope for is right under my nose.
Spent looking for that magical something that will make me happy.
Wishing for a tomorrow that never . . .
A Deconstruction of Time
Time is not a race.
It's not even a thing.
In fact it's a completely made up, fabricated entity brought into materialization for the soul purpose of differentiating a moment.
It's mans way of making sense of our existence. Our need for structure, for walls, for different compartments, for boxes. Because . . .
Laying my mind to rest
I just want to let go.
Free my mind.
Take life by the horns again... I am a Taurus after all!
Let myself play and experiment.
Write because it makes me feel good. Allow my thoughts an escape, my words to be seen. Even if they make no sense to someone else. Even if they benefit only me.
I want . . .
Releasing my inner voice
From a very young age I learned the difference between being seen, verses being heard. I discovered that unless I open my mouth to say something people will assume what I am thinking just by looking at me.
This realization hit me one day when I was perhaps 6 or 7 years of age. I was at a family function desperately wanting to . . .
I may not be impressive.
I may not have done anything noteworthy with my life, thus far.
I may never have been that girl who raised her hand in school, or volunteered to be a project leader, or team captain.
I may never have been that girl who got A's in every class, who listened and contributed to each and . . .
I lie on this twin bed.
Now my marital bed, once my sister-in-law's... who is now 32.
Hundreds of fluffy white clouds parade the blue wallpapered walls.
Teenage posters and album covers, faces of the famous, hang before me. Some sag and buckle with the weariness of time. Smears of blue tack streak from their . . .