My brain, my life, my existence has been unraveled, scrambled, and muted.
Where words used to flow a dry river bed now exists.
The gravity of what has happened to the world, our economies, the hopes and dreams of billions, finally hit home.
Just days ago the weight of it all lay heavy on my spirit. The thought of dashed . . .
Today I want to start.
Yesterday I wanted to start too.
And the day before that I definitely wanted to start!
But sadly I did not.
But today I am determined.
Sitting at our kitchen table, window open, Spring trees a bloom, listening to the birds chirp loudly, with just 35 minutes before I have to walk back to work...
I . . .
A Deconstruction of Time
Time is not a race.
It's not even a thing.
In fact it's a completely made up, fabricated entity brought into materialization for the soul purpose of differentiating a moment.
It's mans way of making sense of our existence. Our need for structure, for walls, for different compartments, for boxes. Because . . .
Laying my mind to rest
I just want to let go.
Free my mind.
Take life by the horns again... I am a Taurus after all!
Let myself play and experiment.
Write because it makes me feel good. Allow my thoughts an escape, my words to be seen. Even if they make no sense to someone else. Even if they benefit only me.
I want . . .
I may not be impressive.
I may not have done anything noteworthy with my life, thus far.
I may never have been that girl who raised her hand in school, or volunteered to be a project leader, or team captain.
I may never have been that girl who got A's in every class, who listened and contributed to each and . . .
I lie on this twin bed.
Now my marital bed, once my sister-in-law's... who is now 32.
Hundreds of fluffy white clouds parade the blue wallpapered walls.
Teenage posters and album covers, faces of the famous, hang before me. Some sag and buckle with the weariness of time. Smears of blue tack streak from their . . .
Today I am practicing,
Throw at me all you got.
Belittle my quirks. Undermine my abilities. Tread on my polite demeanor and quiet disposition. Even scoff my logic.
It wont change anything.
My worth is still my worth. It is not measured by your judgement.
So please, go . . .